Sometimes you have days where you just feel “meh.”

The scientific word for this is languishing.

Languishing is that feeling of lingering dissatisfaction that you can’t quite pinpoint...it’s somewhere on the spectrum between depression/anxiety and being totally mentally healthy. Usually we feel this way when we lack a purpose or goal to work towards. It is a step beyond boredom, and one that can lead down a slippery slope to depression if gone unnoticed.

Finding a purpose that gets you into a flow can help you stop languishing and increase your happiness.

In the Happiness Lab podcast Laurie Santos and Adam Grant discuss languishing and how to overcome it.

During the pandemic, Grant (along with many others) experienced languishing and wrote about it in a post that went viral. Grant emphasizes that you should find something you can “master”. But his use of mastering doesn't mean become a "master"...it just means experiencing small wins. Set yourself up for those satisfying jolts of energy you get from feeling capable when you succeed at something.

This could be as simple as playing a game with friends or even by yourself. (It’s no wonder that Wordle took off this past year.) The game itself gives you a goal that you can make progress towards. Winning at it releases that same sense of glee you get when you do other challenging life things. It just takes less time, and is often with less stakes.

But completing a Wordle puzzle might be the boost you need to get back to it. Get behind the screen and continue writing your screenplay! Or answering emails. Or selling your art. Or whatever it is you do.

There’s a hidden word there…Do you see it?

Grant also highlights the importance of practicing mindfulness. Thinking carefully about how we use our time is essential to stop languishing. So, block out time to concentrate on one activity at a time. You can't get into a flow state unless you limit distractions.

One way to limit distractions (or distracting thoughts) is to practice meditation.

I’ve been meditating (admittedly less than I’d like) with the Waking Up app. In it, Sam Harris (the creator, educator, and voice of the guided meditations and lessons in the app) frequently reminds the listener that whenever they find that they’ve been distracted by their thoughts, they simply have to “begin again.”

Begin again.

So simple. Yet somehow, hard to remember. Hard to practice.

Thoughts and emotions come and go. (Or as I like to say ebb and flow like the ocean.) No matter how successfully you meditate, work, raise kids, develop relationships…That blah, meh, here’s a half-hearted shrug feeling will inevitably return. It is a natural cycle. The rhythm of life.

Can you imagine if we just always felt super laser focused and purposeful and driven?? Ohhh the things we could get done…but then…we would never have time to reflect. To recharge. To try something new that jumpstarts that sense of purpose again. We’d miss out on the beauty of boredom.

And most of all, we’d never appreciate how wonderful it feels to have meaning in our lives. To know that we have another chance to begin again.

When you feel “meh”, just begin again