Taking a (permanent?) break from social media
A few months ago, I decided to take a break from social media. I deactivated the accounts that I tend to get stuck in for way too long: Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I have always had a love/hate relationship with social media, and there have been times when I've taken breaks before. I just don't feel as mentally healthy when I use it, and I, like many others, get too addicted to checking it. I thought maybe it would be temporary, but I'm actually still not back on them. I don’t miss it, and don’t really plan on going back as of right now.
Being off them has improved my life tremendously. I know that in the “culture”, we often talk about how detrimental social media can be…We talk about our addictions to screens, and the mental health affects of too much time on it. We talk about how its not really natural or normal to share our lives with so many people at once…
But we don’t really know for sure how much better our lives could be without social media. For those who have personally experimented with taking breaks from social media, they’ve had mixed results. So we don’t know for sure what “the optimal” choice is. Maybe we still don't have enough data. Or maybe it's too varied, and we never will. I know that some people don't have any issues screen or social media addiction. Some people have learned how to leverage technology to add gratitude back into their life, rather than let it control them.
But I think some people might be high-functioning addicts who don't realize its negative effects.
Of course, I'm not a researcher, and I'm really just basing this off my experience and that of one of my best friends, who also recently decided to deactivate...I realize that is not exactly reliable data...
Neverthless, I write this blog to share my personal experiences. So here is what I can report from anecdotal research. In general, limiting the amount of internet I consume has:
Helped me deepen connections with friends (we send each other direct text messages, photos, and videos. Or we have phone calls rather than passively viewing each other's lives on social media).
Given me back more time to spend on developing better habits like exercising, cooking, and reading books (I had really missed this).
Improved my overall mental health (I've always had a really bad habit of comparing myself to others...and social media shows me way too many people's lives that I either barely talk to or don't know at all...and it often left me feeling...meh...)
I just want to be clear that I don’t deny there are benefits to social media. In some ways, it can help you get closer to your friends and family (especially if you choose to send a direct message in response to a post). Or it can connect you with people you wouldn’t have otherwise had a chance to meet or collaborate with. It can also be a great source of entertainment and education.
But the flip side of that is that there can be tons of misinformation, unreliable resources, and self-proclaimed “gurus.” Some of the new online “relationships” you form are very superficial and hard to keep up with if you don’t have the ability to connect outside of social media.
Then there’s the obsession with making sure you capture the right moment. That you document your life for others to see rather than just to cherish it for yourself after the fact. I think it is very important to take photos and videos and look back at them. But do we have to share it passively with everyone? Do we need to anticipate the likes and comments that may or may not come flooding in from it?
Instead, we can create our own personal grid of memories and art on a private photo storage app where the focus is not about likes and follows. We can share photos directly with those we love…Research shows that looking at those photos and videos can be provide a fantastic dose of happiness…And the best part? Its a “feed” that is made for you and those you care about most. Because it is all about the authentic you.
In a nutshell, I think the most important thing for you to pay attention to is whether or not the benefits outweigh the costs. For me, the negative consequences definitely outweigh the benefits.
So what do I hope to see instead? What about artists, photographers, and other professionals who make a living from sharing their work online? To them I say, create your own spaces on the internet through blogs, websites, and newsletters.
Then as a collective, let’s go back to focused consumption. Bookmark websites and blogs. Sign up for relevant newsletters. You can even bookmark your favorite social media accounts if you just want to check in periodically.
The social media feed itself is transient and unreliable. Have you ever tried to grow a loyal following? It seems so easy, but unless you want social media to take over your life (or you can hire someone to do it for you) its just not sustainable.
Anyway, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there just needs to be better types of online social networks. Maybe by the time I have kids and they’re old enough, they’ll have figured it all out. In the mean time, I’ll leave you with this quote from James Clear which I think is very aptly suited.
"You just need to have the courage to eliminate everything that doesn't directly feed what you really want." –James Clear